the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
