i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
