I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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