I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
