Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
