Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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