I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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