don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize