he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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