idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize