hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
