Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize