And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
