I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
