she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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