I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just threw up on my dentist
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Randomize
