Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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