No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
