It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
