bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
