people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
