do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize