How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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