Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize