he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
