Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize