I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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