WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
