I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
