Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
