The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Found the puke drawer
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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