a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
