I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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