Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize