I must be too annoying 4 u.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
