I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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