Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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