Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
