I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
