This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
