There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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