if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
