i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
