did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
