I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
