aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
