There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
