Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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