guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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