those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
