When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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