Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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