consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
