I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
