It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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