i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
