NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
