They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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