i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize