He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What did we do last night that was yellow?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
