I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
