yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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