where am i from again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
