put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
