she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
